Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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