Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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