Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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