I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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