Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
