My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
