He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
