Already got asked if we're dating
i would punch a child for taco bell
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
