i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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