We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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