The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
