I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
