Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
