The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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