glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
