so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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