I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Randomize
