Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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