and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
