I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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