I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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