Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
