That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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