So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Alive.
So much puke
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
