You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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