Whod you bang
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor