Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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(412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r

Replies (10) Good night (3593) Bad night (715)
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(914): View more from New York

vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable

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(914): vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable http://tfl.nu/smln

Replies (12) Good night (4297) Bad night (706)
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(819): View more from Quebec

FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.

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(819): FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/3wga

Replies (37) Good night (1066) Bad night (5381)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me

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(859): But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me http://tfl.nu/ot16

Replies (4) Good night (2149) Bad night (972)
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(714): View more from California

You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

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(714): You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying http://tfl.nu/xa50

Replies (7) Good night (770) Bad night (2198)
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(585): View more from New York

There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn

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(585): There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn http://tfl.nu/f3ez

Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (551)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.

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(215): Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know. http://tfl.nu/nlx4

Replies (6) Good night (1703) Bad night (516)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?

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(250): He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me? http://tfl.nu/sqfj

Replies (3) Good night (1069) Bad night (528)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery

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(608): Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery http://tfl.nu/z40m

Replies (7) Good night (647) Bad night (1011)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick

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(615): omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick http://tfl.nu/o4c5

Replies (10) Good night (752) Bad night (640)
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(914): View more from New York

His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh

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(914): His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh http://tfl.nu/ih42

Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (391)
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(559): View more from California

Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"

(707): View more from California

Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.

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(559): Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!" (707): Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war. http://tfl.nu/84el

Replies (6) Good night (1566) Bad night (408)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich

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(309): Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich http://tfl.nu/oepv

Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (229)
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(845): View more from New York

All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.

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(845): All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along. http://tfl.nu/lu02

Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (171)
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(219): View more from Indiana

My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."

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(219): My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this." http://tfl.nu/i86y

Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (149)

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