ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant

  Fav 14 4848 843

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

  Fav 12 4498 1203

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

  Fav 30 3334 5368

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day

  Fav 17 3845 1519

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

  Fav 19 1070 5954

  share tweet
  

• (915): View more from Texas

  I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

  Fav 5 3403 1152

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

  Fav 10 2728 1357

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex

  Fav 5 1998 772

  share tweet
  

• (365): View more from

  James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.

  Fav 9 2327 908

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

  Fav 1 650 465

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time

  Fav 0 789 469

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM

  Fav 1 572 278

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet

  Fav 0 116 69

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  what did he say?

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  "oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"

  Fav 0 125 148

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.

  Fav 1 55 11

  share tweet
  

Randomize