So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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