After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.