Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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(612): View more from Minnesota

and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling

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(718): View more from New York

im getting my college education on yahoo answers.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?

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(208): View more from Idaho

We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.

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