I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i think i just lost a toe