Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(248): View more from Michigan

@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu

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(248): View more from Michigan

If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(778): View more from British Columbia

I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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(845): View more from New York

I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.

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(559): View more from California

You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

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(802): View more from Vermont

I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone

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