just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.