Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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