dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
