Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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