the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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