its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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