Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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