Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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