Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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