I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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