I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Blood and glitter go together right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
