dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
either way he was missing a nipple.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
