only if we run a train.
done.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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