i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
