My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize