I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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