Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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