I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
