At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize