some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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