Sry I called you an 8
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
