Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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