she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
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I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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