Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
