Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
