I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
