he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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