Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
