I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
