So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
