Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
