it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
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I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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