thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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