dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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