No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
