yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
