She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
