if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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